Saturday, October 23, 2010

The weight of the world

I have a love-hate relationship with my shoulders.

They've carried the weight of the world, they've been cried on and they rarely droop in resignation.

When I'm at the gym and I'm all pumped up, I love the way they look.

My traps jump up and my lateral deltoids form this unbelievable cap.

They make me look strong, muscular, fit ... like I can handle anything.

(Sidebar: Of course, that's barring any injury I may have suffered in the last while. Yes, I'm a little concerned I may have a SLAP tear on my labrum, which is a lot more serious than just a torn supraspinatus like last time. So yes, I'll be trying to get in to see a doctor at some point but since I don't really have one, it might be difficult.)

I keep my reps high and my weight low, always, for shoulders. They're smaller muscles and they don't require a lot of weight like quads and hams to get a decent workout.

At least that's what I was told by a long-ago trainer.

In any case, I always think they look good in my racer back tank top.

Then I go shopping.

I pick up a cute halter top or something with spaghetti straps and I stand in the change room thinking, 'ugh, I have huge, ugly man shoulders and I can't wear this.'

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if my boobs weren't quite this big ... and believe me, if I could find a doctor who would send me for a second breast reduction, I'd be all over it like a dog on a pork chop.

Or maybe I should just suck it up and go with a cap-sleeved top, covering up those beautiful-when-I'm-feeling-strong, ugly-when-I'm-feeling-dressy shoulders.

Argh ... what a predicament.

In any case, I've been back at the gym hard this week, since returning from my fantastic weekend away in Spokane.

It was a 4x6 week so I got to up the weights some. I get to register a little disappointment because my 4x6 squat -- albeit a solid 4x6 with good form -- was only at 185 pounds.

That's 30 pounds down from where it was in June.

I try to remember that it's all a process and I will get back up to the numbers I had before ball season kicked into high gear.

So long as I stick with it and don't give up.

Tomorrow is deadlift day and since my squat numbers are low, I'm going to try to get my deadlifts even with squats so my hamstrings are as strong as my quads.

Here's been the last week ... with nothing interesting to report out of the kitchen, by the way. I've been doing a lot of heat-and-eats and salads. I didn't exactly keep a good budget for food while I was shopping. Don't judge!

Oh yeah and there's been no reading. I've been too busy daydreaming.

AT THE GYM 

Wednesday
Legs
Squats, 4x6, 185 lb
Straight-leg deadlifts, 4x6, 95 lb
Single-leg press, 3x10, 135 lb SS side lunges on BOSU, 3x10

Thursday
Chest
DB chest press, 4x6, 30 lb
Cable crossover, 4x6, 40 lb
Incline DB press, 4x6, 27.5 lb
Overhead tricep rope press, 2x12, 45 lb
MB ab series, 3x15

Friday
Rest day

Saturday
Shoulders
Single-arm full clean, 3x10, 25 lb
Lat raises, 3x10, 12.5 lb SS bentover flyes, 3x10, 12.5 lb
Incline single-arm raises, 3x10, 7.5 lb
MB thrusters and fitball crunches, 3x15

Tomorrow
Back, projected weights
Deadlifts, 4x6, 185 lb
Lat pulldowns, 4x6, 90 lb
Low-pulley rope row, 4x6, 90 lb
Rope hammer curl, 2x12, 35 lb
Rope woodchoppers, 3x15, 35 lb SS cable curl, 3x15, 85 lb

Friday, October 22, 2010

Wanderlust

You know what really bugs me?

When I read a horoscope and it tells me exactly how I'm feeling.

Yes, I read horoscopes. Yes, I'm a smart girl and I know -- mostly -- that they're bunk.

But look at what I found when I loaded my iGoogle this morning:

Leo
Leo
You may be feeling wanderlust, even if you are rooted to your current situation. The fiery Aries Full Moon lights up your 9th House of Adventure, reminding you that there are still many journeys ahead. Whether or not you are able to pack your bags and jump on a plane, nothing can prevent you from going somewhere far away in your mind. Remember, there is plenty of time to turn your fantasies into reality.



Wanderlust.

Yup. You got it.

There are many journeys ahead. Is there going to be a big journey on a permanent basis or lots of little journeys?

I'm always going somewhere far away in my mind and that means I'm not content where I am. Happy? Yes. Content? Not really.

But how do I turn those fantasies into reality?

Then there's the big question: Where?

And if one person says 'ask the universe,' I'll have to go kick a kitten.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

You like what where?

It's really the most ridiculous thing.

One year ago, women were falling all over themselves on Facebook to post what colour their bras were. And it was a big secret what the colour statuses were about ... let's not tell the boys ... tee hee hee.

Today, we're faced with the same stupid meme, although this time we're supposed to tell the boys where we like to put our purses, but only referring to the items as 'it,' inferring that we like 'it' in the bathroom or we like 'it' in the kitchen.

'It' being my purse but intending where I like 'it.'

Believe me, I was tempted to post Angela likes 'it' in the ass, just to see what everyone would say. I still may.

The clincher? This is supposed to raise awareness about breast cancer.

Let's be clear about one thing first. I'm not all that big on donating to any cancer foundation except the Canadian Cancer Society, which is working to eliminate ALL cancer. I don't see any one type of cancer as being more important or more tragic or more deserving of attention than any other kind of cancer.

My father died of throat cancer in 1996. His father died of stomach cancer in 1988. His mother died of lung cancer — I think — in 1969.

At least one of us, I suspect, in my family will carry on this brutal tradition.

So I prefer to ensure that all cancers are treated with the same weight. But I 'get' how breast cancer is an attention draw.

It's about boobs. And, as I wrote for Fashionwest earlier this week, breasts are quite often at the root of our identification as women, as feminine beings, as sexual beings.

What I don't get are the Facebook memes.

Where you put your purse ... what colour your bra is ... where you like to have sex.

Oh but, you protest, it gets women talking about breast cancer.

No, it doesn't. It gets women giggling and being deceitful. It gets men rolling their eyes at us and thinking 'here they go again.'

See? This guy, a link I got through my friend, Michelle Butterfield, doesn't get it either. He doesn't find it clever and he doesn't find amusing.

"Women, if you want our partnership with something all you have to do is request it," he writes. "What you need to understand is that men (most of them anyway) really love women and want to do whatever we can to make you happy, help you, take care of you, shelter you from harm, etc., etc., etc.

"If you want us to give our money to a particular organization in order to advance cancer research, or fund breast exams, we will, just tell us which organization and how much to give. Men are that simple. All it takes is (drum roll) COMMUNICATION!"

Robyn Urback of the National Post got on board the meme today, too.

It's unfortunate, she writes, because what these women think is raising awareness for breast cancer is really just trivializing the whole issue.

"The movement sexualizes a disease that is, as many can attest, not in the least bit sexy," Urback writes. "Campaigns such as 'Save the Ta-Tas,' which emerged in 2004 with svelte, good-looking models sporting skin-tights tees, have been similarly criticized for cheapening a very serious issue, but its mission, at least, centred around awareness and fundraising. The innuendo-laced 'I like it' Facebook trend simply sexualizes an unsexy issue, to no favourable end."

We've fought so hard as women for acceptance as equals in every level of our lives. We've fought so hard for sexual harassment rules, so hard for proper treatment in the workplace, so hard to keep our male superiors hands off our asses ...

Yet it's so easy for us to tear it all down and say 'hee hee, look at me, I'm really talking about my purse but you think I'm being all sexy, hee hee.'

And at the very core, we completely distract from the real point: women need to self-examine on a monthly basis starting yesterday and get annual mammograms after the age of 50.

How do we properly promote breast health awareness among ourselves? We encourage our mothers, sisters and friends to self-examine or get mammograms, we post links to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation or Canadian Cancer Society, we attend events that really help raise funds and awareness (like For the Love of Shoes at the Okotoks Art Gallery) and we pull out our pocketbooks — you know, the ones where you like it — and we donate real, hard cash to research.

That way, we're not alienating half the population from joining us in our quest to cure cancer.

That way, we're not taking hundreds of steps backwards with our status as equals.

That way, we're doing real work in raising awareness and funds to cure cancer.

But it's fun, you'll whine.

Hey, I had a great time going out to the Okotoks Art Gallery last weekend and learning about the artists and the women who donated the shoes.

Whether I enjoyed myself or not, I intended to make a donation to the exhibit but because it was wonderful, I put twice as much in the box as I initially intended.

So I challenge you to find ways to make raising awareness and money fun, interesting and clever.

But not in ways that distract from the real issue.

Do something real. Donate here.