Monday, November 30, 2009

Does anyone have a screwdriver?

Believe this: I can be a tad shy sometimes.

And I've been working on my courage for three days, trying to screw up enough to call a boy.

This isn't the first time. I've joined in the past and never gotten the reaction I wanted.

But now I have a foundation of serenity. I feel like I've discovered a peacefulness in my heart that will allow me to open myself up to the possibility of falling in love.

I feel like I'm able to put up boundaries that will disallow toxic people from entering or affecting me.

I feel stronger, more confident.

Except for making this phone call.

All the opinions are in: he sounds great and he's dead sexy.

So what's stopping me?

What if Hockey Jersey really likes me? What if Hockey Jersey really wants to get to know me better? What if Hockey Jersey really wants to meet me?

There's a whole world of possibility lying before me.

And, for the first time in a very long while, it feels like it's ALL within reach.

The question is, do I have enough courage within me to just do it?

To reach out and let someone in?

Screw it. I'm going to the gym.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

It's been a while

Whoopsie ... and sorry 'bout that.

I promise to start doing better. I even have stuff to share. I just need to find the motivation to share it.

And right now, it's more important to find the motivation to get to the gym ... although if I manage to put some real thoughts here tonight, I'll have beaten one bit of lethargy, right?

In any case, I think it's funny how my Tweeting habits have changed in the last while. Last spring, I created a Tweet cloud from my Twitter stream and posted it on this blog.

I was a media relations professional then. And I was still convinced that certain social media were the next best thing.

Times change.

I'm no longer in that profession and I've started to see through the illusion and fog that has been created.

I still use those platforms to communicate, to share, to learn ... but with a dose of reality, I've been able to sort through a lot of the bullshit.

And now you can see how my posting habits have changed. A Tweet cloud generated today shows I'm not using my feed professionally anymore:


In fact, the new 'me' has gone back to my roots, Tweeting about sports, especially hockey, and being an all-around smart ass.

I'm just surprised the word 'fuck' doesn't show up.