Any non-Calgarians now are asking themselves the question 'WTF are Chinook headaches?'
My friends, allow me to fill you in.
They are seven steps from hell.
They feel like:
- an ice pick is stuck in my right temple
- two iron hands are gripping the sides of my head and squeezing with all their might
- I've been hit by a Mack truck
- I'm Pete, Monica's boyfriend, who consistently lost in his quest to be the Ultimate Fighting champion
In all seriousness, Dr. Werner Becker, a professor of neurology at University of Calgary, conducted a 2007 study on headaches and weather patterns in our fair city.
He discovered a Chinook, a warm Rocky Mountain wind, can trigger migraines and severe headaches in some folks.
As far as I've read, he still hasn't figured out why.
From the migraines.org website:
Researchers found that 17 of the 32 patients suffered migraines on pre-Chinook days. On days when the Chinooks blew more than 24 mph, 15 had a tendency to get migraines. Only two patients were more likely to get migraines under both weather conditions.
"This indicates that the two weather conditions trigger migraines differently," Becker explains. "How Chinooks trigger a migraine is still not known."
I wish we knew why. Then I could figure out to stop them.
To date, two activities assist in abating the pain: working out and sex. The latter requires me to stir myself from the walking coma through which I muddle until the Chinook goes away; the former requires me to ... well ... have a boyfriend.
In the meantime, I'll just try to sleep it off.
Good night, everybody.