Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Angela I want to be

In less than two days, I start counselling at the local sexual assault centre.

I formulated in my head a handful of goals for these 12 sessions that will take place over the course of the next several months.

I figure I'd better write them down before they went down the drain with the shower water.

In no particular order, I seek:

  • An end to the panic attacks, the nightmares and the need for sleeping pills to drive away the two former items
  • An ability to see the red flags around a person and put them in proper context, instead of just blindly accepting them
  • The discipline to have just one instead of needing to drink myself into a state of numbness
  • The discipline to not spend every last cent in my bank account just because those shoes make me feel pretty and better about myself
  • The ability to trust
  • The ability to open myself up to people but carefully enough to remain protected
  • The filter to not always say what's on my mind
  • The ability to enjoy the highs and tolerate the lows, instead of feeling completely out of control and hurtling off a roller coaster
And last but not least, I seek the ability to put all this in a tidy little box, seal it up with extra-sticky duct tape and move.

Once and for all.

No comments:

Post a Comment