Friday, February 16, 2007

Some hoop on ya!

There was a great e-mail sent out the other day. It was entitled How To Tell If Your Ass Is Too Small.

The attached video is from somewhere in India and a couple of the good citizens are unloading blankets or something or another of a wagon. As the camera pans forward, we get to see why they're unloading the wagon ... the load is so heavy that the poor little donkey is completely suspended in air.

I send it out ... I get the following reply from my buddy, the incomparable Eric Francis: 'that shit was funny - ass is a funny word.'

Ass is a funny word.

In a wonderful way ... look at all the different meanings.

Of course, there's the ass, or 'poor little donkey,' in the video but what if somebody says 'check out that ass'?

Is he looking at your tuckus? Admiring it? Or like Greg in Gander, N.L., used to yell across the ball field at me, 'Some hoop on ya!' Ah, those Newfies ... the words they have that only make sense to them ...

Or is he calling you an ass, as defined by Merriam Webster as a stupid, obstinate, or perverse person, often compounded with a preceding adjective, such as smart-ass.

And then look up smart-ass ... well, it takes on a whole different meaning. refers you to 'smart aleck,' which means an obnoxiously conceited and self-assertive person with pretensions to smartness or cleverness.

Hey! Mom used to call us smart alecks all the time ... that bitch, wait until I get back to Nova Scotia this summer. She's gonna get a talking to ...

Then there's asshole. If you're called an asshole, are you actually the orifice from which you defecate? More likely, someone means a stupid, incompetent, or detestable person.

Same with asswipe, a word I remember being very popular around our household in the late 80s and early 90s.

In any case, that's what makes the English language so much fun ... different meanings on different levels for a word as small as 'ass.'

Now if we could just figure out why we have to have homonyms. Then I wouldn't have to choke the shit out of some asshole who confuses 'there,' 'their' and 'they're.'

There, there, Flashy. There, there.

1 comment:

  1. You know, words completely fail me on this one, Ang. And that doesn't happen too often.